Tag: california

✨25✨

Turning 25 has always been my dream age. As far back as I can remember, 25 years old was the dream age for me. I remember saying, by the time I’m 25 life will be so great…I thought to myself, I’ll be a full blown adult at 25… I’ll be living on my own at 25…I’ll be getting married at 25…25…25…TWENTY-FIVE!

To be honest I didn’t know how I was going to reach all the goals I had for myself by 25 but I knew no matter what it was I wasn’t giving up. I feel like in a way I spoke those dreams and goals into existence for myself because here I am, freshly turned 25, getting married in 6 months, living in the city with my Fiance, and working towards my dream job.

Everything I have now didn’t just come to me, I’ve worked hard to be where I am and trusted that everything was happening for a reason. I graduated college at 23 after not even thinking I would ever go to a university. My parents didn’t go to college so I wasn’t like every other high school Jr./Sr. looking at potential colleges to go to. Instead, I just thought I’d figure it out along the way at a community college. While I was at that community college I began cheering again. Cheering at OCC was one of the best experiences in my life thanks to the coaches, my teammates, and Rico. If it wasn’t for Rico, I would’ve never gone back to cheering. And without cheer, I would have never gone to APSU for college and met Rashaan. And if it weren’t for Rashaan I certainly would not be getting married in 6 months LOL! Trust me, I’ve been through my fill of psycho relationships to know they were not my knight and shining armor…there was even a point where I was pretty positive my dream of getting married by 25 was no longer an option, I had completely given up on that dream, and wouldn’t you know it, Rashaan walked into my life.

To be honest, I’m not sure why 25 has always been such a big number for me, it’s always just been a year I thought would be full of hope and aspirations. Here I am 25 years old…thats a quarter of a century in case you wanted to know… and living my best life (as cheesy as that may sound). I’m 25% of the way to 100 and yet I feel so blessed and 100% full of love and joy. Trust me I may not always feel this way, there def are some days that I feel no better then a little emoji piece of poop but for now I will embrace the great days and rejoice!

Here’s a fun throwback, just so you know the glow up is real 😉

Cheers to 25!!

Besos 😘,
Ilyana

Skydiving!

One thing about me that you may not know is that I love NOT having control of certain situations. I enjoy getting to sit back and relax and being told what to do, it relieves me of the stress I put on myself when I’m in charge of something. The stress to make everything perfect and not have a mistake….If you read my first blog you know this is a huge struggle for me (Shameless plug- go read my other blogs!).

A few weeks ago, my cousin and I decided to go Skydiving for her birthday. This is one of my bucket list items, so I was thrilled when she said she wanted to do this for her birthday. Everyone I know was freaking out, they said things like “I have no idea why you would want to jump out of a perfectly functioning plane” or “you girls are crazy!”. Truth is, if I’m flying to Puerto Rico (or some other great vacay spot) on a Southwest flight with inflight entertainment and blankets theres not a chance in hell I would jump out of the plane if I don’t have to! But there is a certain thrill that I’m constantly chasing and a high I get from adrenaline pumping experiences (Rashaan says I enjoy feeling like I’m dying, lol).

When it came time to jump out of the plane, I will say I got a little nervous but the entire week leading up to it, I couldn’t feel more at peace. Even waiting to get on the plane was a very peaceful experience for me. There was no panic, no dread, no fear. It was one of the best feelings. I didn’t have to think about a single thing, and for me thats a crazy feeling! Some people are able to get this feeling when they meditate, but my busy mind can’t stay on a single thought for longer than 0.5 seconds (I can thank my mom for this ADD behavior, she cant sit still.) Anyways point is I think the very thing that brought me peace (not having control) is opposite of what I normally depend on to bring me peace. I’m a structured person, I like to know whats happening and have a plan, if theres not a plan in place I normally see what I can do to create a plan. I’m the type of person that sets reminders on her phone, and creates hand written lists because I like being able to physically cross things off of it. Do you feel me, or whattttt?

The truth is I like when situations are structured and someone is in control of everything, however that doesn’t mean that I like being the person in control. As a matter of fact I hate it….again too much pressure & too much of a risk to make people upset, which causes my people pleasing personality to spiral out of control with anxiety.

With skydiving the only thing that was spiraling was my body coming out of the plane, and there is NO BETTER FEELING IN THE WORLD! After the jump I felt so at peace with everything, I’m not sure if it’s because it’s something I’ve wanted to do for such a long time and I didn’t allow anyone to talk me out of it, or if it was the fact that it’s literally a death defying experience but I either way I appreciate it!

Would I ever do it again? 100% YES, I’d do it time, and time again…Just as long as it’s still a tandem jump, because then I can continue not having to worry or think about anything when it’s happening, and thats what makes the experience so freeing.

Besos 😘,
Ilyana

P.S.
Enjoy our video experience! https://youtu.be/dLk12mjkvUU