Skydiving!

One thing about me that you may not know is that I love NOT having control of certain situations. I enjoy getting to sit back and relax and being told what to do, it relieves me of the stress I put on myself when I’m in charge of something. The stress to make everything perfect and not have a mistake….If you read my first blog you know this is a huge struggle for me (Shameless plug- go read my other blogs!).

A few weeks ago, my cousin and I decided to go Skydiving for her birthday. This is one of my bucket list items, so I was thrilled when she said she wanted to do this for her birthday. Everyone I know was freaking out, they said things like “I have no idea why you would want to jump out of a perfectly functioning plane” or “you girls are crazy!”. Truth is, if I’m flying to Puerto Rico (or some other great vacay spot) on a Southwest flight with inflight entertainment and blankets theres not a chance in hell I would jump out of the plane if I don’t have to! But there is a certain thrill that I’m constantly chasing and a high I get from adrenaline pumping experiences (Rashaan says I enjoy feeling like I’m dying, lol).

When it came time to jump out of the plane, I will say I got a little nervous but the entire week leading up to it, I couldn’t feel more at peace. Even waiting to get on the plane was a very peaceful experience for me. There was no panic, no dread, no fear. It was one of the best feelings. I didn’t have to think about a single thing, and for me thats a crazy feeling! Some people are able to get this feeling when they meditate, but my busy mind can’t stay on a single thought for longer than 0.5 seconds (I can thank my mom for this ADD behavior, she cant sit still.) Anyways point is I think the very thing that brought me peace (not having control) is opposite of what I normally depend on to bring me peace. I’m a structured person, I like to know whats happening and have a plan, if theres not a plan in place I normally see what I can do to create a plan. I’m the type of person that sets reminders on her phone, and creates hand written lists because I like being able to physically cross things off of it. Do you feel me, or whattttt?

The truth is I like when situations are structured and someone is in control of everything, however that doesn’t mean that I like being the person in control. As a matter of fact I hate it….again too much pressure & too much of a risk to make people upset, which causes my people pleasing personality to spiral out of control with anxiety.

With skydiving the only thing that was spiraling was my body coming out of the plane, and there is NO BETTER FEELING IN THE WORLD! After the jump I felt so at peace with everything, I’m not sure if it’s because it’s something I’ve wanted to do for such a long time and I didn’t allow anyone to talk me out of it, or if it was the fact that it’s literally a death defying experience but I either way I appreciate it!

Would I ever do it again? 100% YES, I’d do it time, and time again…Just as long as it’s still a tandem jump, because then I can continue not having to worry or think about anything when it’s happening, and thats what makes the experience so freeing.

Besos 😘,
Ilyana

P.S.
Enjoy our video experience! https://youtu.be/dLk12mjkvUU